Best Kept Secret
by The Second Batgirl
Summary: How did a single love get so complicated? Our love was pure and nothing else brought me closer to God. A BareNewsies fusion. JackDavid
1. Prologue

David Jacobs was lying facedown on his bed, his face pressed into a pillow, trying to decide what he wanted to do. He was two days away from starting his final semester at Pulitzer's Academy, and he wasn't sure if this was a good thing or not. He was just so conflicted about it… he was looking forward to graduation and starting college in a less restrictive environment, but on the other hand, there were definitely a few people that he wanted to spend as much time with as possible. Graduation could mean leaving all of that behind.

As he had done for most of the break, he continued to lie there, trying to puzzle out the things in the universe that were making him feel so utterly conflicted, except fate wouldn't even let them do that without interruption.

"David, sweetheart?" his mother called, knocking on the door and then letting herself in.

David only mumbled a response into his pillow.

"Now, David, darling, you shouldn't talk into your pillow like that. It's bad for you."

Esther Jacobs sat down on the bed, and patted David on the shoulder. "Now, Sweetheart, don't we have some last minute shopping to do? After all, I'm driving you back to school tomorrow morning."

David turned onto his side and smiled at his mother. "I think I've got everything, Mom. And it isn't really _that_ big a deal if I've forgotten anything. After all, you only live twenty minutes away from school."

"Are you excited to be going back to school, David?"

"It's going to be nice to see my friends again," he replied diplomatically.

"And it's your last semester, too. And then you'll be going off to college, somewhere farther away from your dear old mother."

"Mom, if I decide to go to Notre Dame, it _is_ only forty-five minutes away," David pointed out. Most of his friends - what few of them he had anyway, thought his mother could be overbearing and ridiculous. But David just knew that she wanted to be there for him, always. They were just really close for a mother and son - that was all. He knew that his mother just wanted him to know that at least one parent still loved him, even if his father had left them when he was only eight.

"I know, sweetheart, and I'm so proud of you. And if Jack gets in, then you two will still be together. It's so nice that you have such a close friend and roommate," Esther smiled.

David grew nervous. He hated keeping secrets from his mother, and this was the only thing that he had ever concealed from her. The most important thing. Still, there was no way that she would understand.

She had no idea that he was gay. And that he'd been with Jack for over three years now.

Yet she was his mother; she would still love him.

David had to believe that. He needed to cling to that belief, that one day he would be able to tell her. And that one day, she would accept Jack into her life, and accept David for who he was.

Even though he knew that this dream may not come to pass, he would always have to hold on to it. He needed it.

His mother didn't seem to notice how nervous he was talking about Jack. How she seriously couldn't have any suspicions about his sexuality never ceased to amaze David, but his mother seemed utterly oblivious. But then again, she hadn't noticed his father's affairs either.

"What about you finding a girlfriend this year, sweetie? I'm sure that there are a lot of nice girls at your school."

"Mom!" David exclaimed, sitting up and staring at her. "Come on, you know… you know that I really don't have time. What with the show and all."

"Oh sweetie, I don't mean to pry, it's just that I want you to be _happy_, sweetheart. And meeting a nice girl will definitely make you happy, and you being happy would make _me_ happy. Just… just think about it, okay?"

"I will," David said, immediately feeling guilty about the promise. Even though his mother had only married a Jewish man, somehow the Jewish mother guilt trip thing had become a part of her during the ten years that she'd been with Mayer Jacobs. And David _hated_ it. He loved his mother so much, but sometimes he had to agree that maybe Jack was right, and he was too dependent on her. Most of the time though, he thought that Jack was just sad that he wasn't the only one in David's heart.

Then again, there was the other theory about Jack's behavior that kept nagging at David, but he shook it off. He knew that Jack wasn't as comfortable about his sexuality as David was growing to be, but they could deal with that as they always had. Still… David did hope that one day Jack would stand with him and proclaim their love to everyone, together.

As was their tradition, the night before David left for school, he and his mother just sat up for quite a while talking. David was amazed at how easily their conversation could flow, and how he could talk about anything with her.

Except for that one most important thing, and he knew that soon he would have to bring it up.

He just wasn't sure how.

* * *

Author's Note-And here we have it, the Bare/Newsies crossover o' doom. I've only been planning this for… over six months now? For those of you who are unfamiliar with Bare, it was an off-Broadway show that ran during April and May that featured Aaron Lohr, so naturally, I went to see it, and became utterly obsessed. And shockingly… the plot worked SO perfectly for a Jack/David fic, that I needed to write it. So for nano this year, I did. 50,005 words later, this is the result. 

This first chapter is PG-13, but later chapters will go up to R, and there will be at least two smutty outtakes that will be posted directly to the refuge.

For those of you who are familiar with Bare, well… hopefully you'll be able to figure out which characters are which. I hope. ;)

Lastly, for the purposes of this fic, David and Sarah are NOT related. Just need to make that clear from the start.

Many thanks to parkranger and Gothic Author for the betas!

Til next time!

TSB


	2. Chapter 1

One of the few perks about living so close to campus was that it was incredibly easy for David to get back to school without having to leave early in the morning. Or at least, that's what most people assumed. Esther was incredibly worried about punctuality, and insisted on waking David up at the crack of dawn so that they could have a huge family breakfast before they returned to school. David was always the first to return to campus, and then was volunteered by his mother to help out at the first mass of the semester, while she went to go speak to Father Denton about what she could do to volunteer at the church.

While David appreciated his mother's involvement, and took it as a serious sign of her love for him, sometimes he wished that she would give him more space. But he really didn't know what he would do without her. After all, she was his mother, and a boy was supposed to love his mother unconditionally.

By 10 am, David had successfully moved all of his things back into the room that he shared with Jack, and wandered off to go prepare for the noon mass. Unpacking always took longer for him than it did for most of the other boys, but that was only because David was extra particular about how he arranged his things. Everything had to be in its proper place or it would drive him absolutely crazy. It was one of the things that Jack always claimed to like about him – how particular he was. Jack said that it made David unique, and hearing Jack say that would always make David smile. He had hoped that Jack would arrive early so that they could spend some time together after they had been separated for an entire month, but he knew that Jack and his sister, Mary Sue, wouldn't be arriving until right before mass.

That didn't mean that the school was empty. Matthew Lloyd had gotten there only a few moments after David had, and was also going to be working as an altar boy at mass; although unlike David, Matthew had volunteered himself.

"Hey, Dave." Matthew smiled as the two of them fell into step heading towards the chambers where the boys kept their robes. "How was your vacation?"

David smiled back, even though he knew that Matthew was only making polite conversation.

"Vacation was good. Spent time with my mother, which was fun."

"Fun? With _your_ mother?" Matt smirked. "I love my parents, but if I had a mother like yours, I'd be glad to get away from her."

"She's my _mother_."

"And?" Matt asked, running a hand through his curly hair. "I mean, it's one thing to love your parents, but its another entirely to have your entire life revolve around them."

"Parent," David reminded him, more sharply than he had intended to.

"Oh, sorry," Matt said immediately, and he actually did look the part. David sighed. He knew that he shouldn't still be bothered by this; he shouldn't care that his father had left them because he hadn't loved him enough to stay. He should be over it by now. That was what therapy and the church had been for, to make him realize that he would be loved unconditionally by those who were truly good.

God loved him. His mother loved him. _Jack_ loved him.

He didn't need Matt's pity. He didn't need anyone's pity.

"Matthew! David!"

Both boys spun around at the all too familiar voice of Sister Medda, the school's drama instructor.

"My two favorite actors," she exclaimed. "I do hope that you boys are going to be trying out for this year's production."

"Of course, Sister," they both answered automatically. Neither of them was crazy enough to argue with the over-exuberant sister. Being a nun, she had to get her energy out somewhere, and she usually seemed to manage that by putting on the most dramatic shows possible. And once she had decided that a student was going to be in a show, it was usually inevitable that he would end up performing, whether he wanted to or not.

Drama was one of the few school activities that David had gotten involved in voluntarily. He spent so much time just being in Jack's shadow, drama was the one chance that he truly got to shine on his own. It was the one way that people knew him, besides just being "Jack's roommate."

Even still, he just wished that Jack was there to share that spotlight with him, and he didn't care how much that contradicted his earlier thought. He wanted to be on stage with Jack; to let the entire world know how much the two of them loved each other.

David forced himself out of his thoughts to pay attention to the conversation that Matt and the sister were having.

"Romeo and Juliet?" Matt was asking incredulously. "I don't know, Sister, are you sure our drama department can handle that? We haven't had the best record with Shakespeare… you remember what happened when we attempted to do A Midsummer Night's Dream two years ago."

"Well, those two no longer attend this school, so I don't think we have that much to worry about."

David bit back a snicker, remembering the trouble that the Delancey brothers had caused at that particular production, which led to them getting expelled. It had also caused the drama department to lose a lot of funding, and Sister Medda had been utterly furious at having to scale back her productions.

"Auditions are tomorrow after classes," Sister Medda said sharply. "I expect to see you both there. And David, try to bring that roommate of yours. According to that sister of his, he used to act as a child, and I want to see if any of that talent still remains."

"Yes Sister," David replied. Matt glared at him, and David shrugged.

"Good," the nun said, seemingly satisfied with his answer. Besides, she'd have to know by now that David, like everyone else in the school, was absolutely terrified of her. Most of the students had theorized that she had been part of some secret terrorist organization before becoming a nun, or had been an assassin, or _something_. The woman was absolutely terrifying.

Sister Medda headed off, her flaming read hair falling out of her habit as per normal, without saying so much as a goodbye.

"And people claim nuns are supposed to be nice," Matt muttered. "Obviously, they've never met her."  
David laughed, and followed Matt towards the room where they would change into their robes for that day's Mass. Mass was generally something that David would enjoy, even when he felt uncomfortable being in the center of attention. It just felt strange to have everyone staring at him when he was just being himself. It was different when he was acting… then they were staring at a character, but not at him.

But while he was at Mass, as an altar boy, everyone was staring directly at _him_. He had to be perfect because his flaws were his own, not those of a character that he was playing. When the congregation prayed, David sometimes feared that they could see the true him, not just the mask he tried to put up. If they actually knew who he was. if they could actually see him… David hadn't quite decided if that was what he wanted. To be out and proud, or to be safe. Either way, he wanted to be with Jack.

Matt was checking his watch, and quickly ran to the closet where the robes were stored.

"C'mon, David, quit stalling," he said as he grabbed his dark blue robe and began to hurriedly pull it on. "Mass starts in half an hour, and we still have to meet with Father Denton. That is, if your mother is done with him."

David showed his agreement by grabbing a robe of his own, and fastening it without another word. David knew exactly how his mother was thought of among most of the students at the school. Matt was basically just stating a fact; David knew that his mother was still probably monopolizing Father Denton's time with useless trivialities as a way of showing her devotion to the church. It seemed odd, considering that she had had converted upon her marriage, and had retained the religion as the only remaining thing she had left of her husband, save her son.

Matt did mean well, and compared to other comments that David had heard thrown around the school, what he'd said was a compliment in comparison.

"Hello, boys," Father Denton said as he swept into the room, adjusting the ugly collar that priests were forced to wear. David had never figured exactly why God demanded that his priests commit such an obvious fashion violation, but for some reason it was required, and no one seemed willing to argue with church doctrine.

"Father," Matt replied immediately.

Father Denton nodded at Matt, and then turned his attention to David. "Your mother and I had a talk," he began.

David acknowledged him with a slight nod of his head. "Yes, Father, she told me she would be speaking to you about her involvement after my graduation."

"And how do you feel about that?"

The tone in Father Denton's voice confused David. His mother could do what she liked; he shouldn't really have to think about it. He explained that to the priest, who seemed, satisfied with his answer, although Matt was rolling his eyes.

"Well then," the priest said. "We should begin to prepare for Mass. Go gather your things."

David and Matt hurriedly made their last minute preparations, and Matt turned to David again.

"Have you ever considered growing a backbone and getting away from your mother? I'm close to my family, but seriously David, this is utterly ridiculous."

"She's my _mother_, and she's the only family that I have."

"You have friends here."

"Yeah," David said sourly. "I guess."

"Oh come _on_, David, of course you have friends here." Matt flashed him a grin, the same grin that he used to convince the teachers that he was their perfect boy, although David had to think that Jack's smile was better looking.

David really didn't want to have this conversation now. So instead, he stared straight ahead, preparing for the opening bars of the first processional. From the doorway to the church, he could see various students filing in, most of them not having bothered to change into their uniforms. He caught sight of Tony Higgins wearing a t-shirt that was sure to get him kicked out of mass that day if Sister Medda caught him; it proudly proclaimed, "I Rock Catholic Girls."

Still, as nice as Tony was to look at, he wasn't the one that David wanted to see. But there was no sign of Jack anywhere.

_Maybe they didn't get here in time_, he thought desperately, because there really couldn't be another reason for why Jack would skip his first chance to see him after nearly five weeks. But he soon had to throw that thought out, because he caught sight of Mary Sue sitting in a pew all by herself, reading a giant book, which David could only assume was a fantasy novel of some kind.

The room was fairly buzzing, as everyone was catching up on gossip from the last five weeks. He caught sight of Sarah Jones, _the_ most popular girl in the entire school (and resident slut), who was deep in conversation with her group of followers. They were probably talking about her conquests during the break.

Sister Medda finally appeared, taking her customary place at the piano, and as the opening notes of the first hymn were played, the random gossip quieted and the voices all rose in unison to sing a prayer.

David and Matt walked out, heads held high, following Father Denton to the altar, where they took their seats and began to listen to the Father speak.

"I'd like to welcome you back to the spring term here at Pulitzer's Academy," Denton began, glancing over the crowd, which had stopped paying attention and had turned back to either gossiping or catching up on sleep, as it always did when Denton began to speak. David rolled his eyes; he couldn't believe that most of them had been back at school for less than an hour and they were already falling back into their old habits. Still, he also had to work hard to suppress a yawn. He really wished that the school's headmaster and priest was more… charismatic. Or that he could hold their interest for more than thirty seconds. Sometimes, David wondered how Denton had become a priest, but then decided he really didn't want to know.

He returned his attention to Denton's speech. "Seniors," the priest was continuing, "this is your last semester here--" Denton was interrupted by a cheer that David was pretty sure came from Tony and his roommate Sean, "and I truly believe that the education that we have provided you with over the course of your schooling has actually provided you with a proper educational and moral background to live a proper and moral life," Denton continued, ignoring the interruption coming from the two known trouble makers.

"During the years you have spent here, you have lived together, you have studied together, you have laughed together, and most importantly of all, you have prayed together. So now I would like for us to join together in prayer."

He raised his hands to motion for everyone to stand, and the congregation rose in unison and began to chant:

"We begin in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Let us take a moment now to call to mind those times in which we have fallen from God's grace. I confess to the almighty God and to you, my brothers and sisters and…"

David yawned again, and while the other students continued to pray, Father Denton turned to David, and spoke his name.

"Don't think that you're fooling anyone by being an altar boy, David," the priest said crossly. "It doesn't make up for what you do at night. God knows, David, and he does not forgive."

David's eyes almost bugged out of his head. He couldn't believe his ears. There was no way that he could have just possibly heard those words come out of Father Denton's mouth; this had to be some sort of mistake. Denton must have been making some sort of reference to something else, or maybe he had just heard it wrong. After all, he and Jack were always so careful, and even _if_ Denton could possibly know about his and Jack's (fairly awesome) sex life, he really didn't think that Denton would out David like that in the middle of Mass.

David tried to ignore Denton, and continued saying the prayer as if nothing had happened. However, all of his thoughts that his mind was playing tricks on him faded when Tony Higgins pointed directly at him.

"Someone here doesn't belong in our congregation," he called, his voice incredibly powerful compared to his diminutive stature.

Mary Sue looked up from her novel and added in her accusations. "Fucking my brother? God, you _are_ disgusting."

Matt whirled around to stare at him. "You think that we really wouldn't notice this after having gone to the same school with you for seven entire years? Just admit it, David, you've lusted after all of the guys here at some time."

Matt raised his hands and crossed them, seemingly trying to ward David off, and protect himself.

"No," David whispered, "Please, I don't… I…"

He gave up, and began to whisper the Hail Mary. "Hail Mary, full of Grace…"

But the words just wouldn't come to him, as accusations began to fling from all across the room. This was like his worst nightmare; his secret had been discovered, and nobody was there to support him. If only Jack was there, Jack would make everything better.

"How do you _know_?" he whispered. "I've been so careful to keep anyone from finding out. Jack and I have never done anything where any of you could see it. How?"

There was scattered laughter from the congregation. "God sees everything, David," Sister Medda reminded him. "We understand what it is that He sees."

Sarah came up the aisle, and placed a hand gently on David's cheek. "You silly boy," she half purred. "Why don't you give me half an hour, and I'll be able to fix you and your problem right up."

More people, some of whom David didn't even recognize, came up to him. "Don't you want to be saved?" one of them, a boy with an eye patch that David didn't recognize by name, asked.

Diego Mendoza, Matt's roommate, looked at him, held up a bible with one hand and pulled his trademark sunglasses down with the other so that he could stare David directly in the eyes. "What the bible says is rules, not suggestions. You can't just ignore the laws that God has handed down to us."

"If you read the laws, then God will re-accept you."

"You don't _need_ to remain lost like this, my child," added in Father Denton.

"Walk the path of righteousness."

David struggled against those who were holding him back. "Please, let me go. I don't deserve this."

"We're trying to save you, David. Don't you understand that?" Matt asked harshly, readjusting his grip on David's left arm. "Why won't you just obey Church laws? It will _save_ you."

Sister Medda got up from the piano and approached David. "You realize, David, you graduate in five months. That only gives us five months before we've lost you forever. And we at the Church care about you deeply, and we aren't going to let you wander lost and alone."

"But Jack and I are in love. How is the church going to say that I'm wrong for being in love?"

"Don't dodge the question, David," a very familiar voice added.

David glanced upwards, to see his mother standing up in the balcony.

"Mom?" he asked incredulously. "What are you doing here?"

"Trying to sleep through Mass again, sweetie?" she asked. "Really, David, if you don't try to reform at least then you're going to go straight to hell."

"Mother!" David said in shock. "I'm your… how could you?"

His mother ignored him, and then turned to address the congregation. "Today's first reading is the story of how, despite the best efforts of a single mother, a child can still go terribly, horribly wrong."

"Mother, please, don't do this," David begged.

She continued as if she hadn't heard him. "Let's just use my son David as an example. For his eighth birthday, David wanted a Barbie doll. His father asked me for a divorce."

Some scattered laughter broke out among the congregation, and Esther Jacobs continued. "To me, the link between those two events was as clear as David's attraction to the Ken doll that went with it."

David turned bright red. "Mother, this isn't really the time…"

"Of course," Esther continued, seemingly oblivious to David's pleas, "I did the best thing that I could. I sent my son to a Catholic boarding school, to this boarding school, hoping that it would cure him of these horrid desires. But no. Instead of leading my son onto the path of righteousness, and eventually a marriage with a good Catholic girl, David met his roommate, Jack. And as soon as those two saw each other, I knew that instead of eventually having grandchildren, the best I could hope for would be an adopted child from a civil union in Massachusetts."

David's legs went weak, and if it wasn't for the fact that Tony and Matt were still holding him upright, he was sure that he would have collapsed onto a pile on the floor. There was no way that things could have gotten any worse.

However, his mother hadn't entirely finished speaking yet. "I don't understand how David didn't actually think that we wouldn't see it. The signs were everywhere. From his fascination with Patrick Swayze in _Dirty Dancing_, to his love for James Bond, we were practically tripping over all of the clues."

The doors to the church burst opened, and four of the juniors whom David didn't recognize walked in, carrying a coffin. Matt released David's arm to go approach the coffin, and Tony retreated as well, leaving David free. He rubbed his arms, which had been beginning to get sore, and approached Denton by the coffin.

"Father?" he asked, "What's going on?"

"Quiet, David, not at the funeral."

Father Denton placed a hand on the coffin, and bowed his head and began to mumble a prayer.

Matt stood at the head of the coffin, and began to speak. His voice was shaking, and he looked devastated by the death of… well, David wasn't entirely sure. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know. Nobody had died over break, this just didn't make any sense.

"I'd like to start with just a…" Matt paused, and shook his head. "No, if we could just take a moment… I'm really not sure how to say this."

David raised an eyebrow. Matt was normally one of the most well-spoken people in the entire school. To see him struggling to find any words was something that utterly confused David.

"Mom, what's going on?"

Esther didn't answer.

David walked down the aisle, and saw both Mary Sue and Sarah standing by the casket, head bowed.

"Mary Sue, Sarah? What on earth is happening? Please tell me."

Both girls turned to him, and they began to chant the names of various bible verses which were known for their anti-homosexual text.

David began to run as fast as he could away from the crowd. "Leave me alone!" he screamed, but there was nothing that he could do as more and more students began to flood into the church, swarming down the aisles, some of them carrying stones. They grabbed him, and continued to chant.

"No," David whispered. "No, this can't be happening," he cried. "Please, no!"

"David," Matt's voice interrupted, but it wasn't coming from the Matt who was currently charging down the aisle at him. It _was_ Matt's voice though.

David blinked twice, trying to clear his vision, and when he opened his eyes the second time, he was sitting back in his chair up on the altar, with Matt poking at him.

"You okay, David?" he asked, looking concerned. "You fell asleep about a minute into the homily."

David bit back a curse. "Did anyone notice?"

Matt motioned to the congregation, most of whom were snoring noticeably.

"They… probably didn't notice. But it looked like you were having some sort of nightmare," Matt said in hushed tones. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," David said quietly, holding back a shudder. "I'm fine," he repeated.

Matt shrugged, and went back to paying attention to the end of Father Denton's homily.

Eventually, Father Denton finished his homily, and the entire congregation stood for the closing prayer.

Most of them turned to leave, but then Father Denton raised his hand to silence the crowd.

"Just a reminder, classes for this semester start tomorrow. If you need to get into town to pick things up, curfew is at nine PM. Dismissed, and may God bless you all."

The students all filed out, some of them rubbing sleep out of their eyes, growing more and more aware as they returned to a topic that actually interested them – gossip.

As David watched the students file out, he winced as Sarah pushed Mary Sue out of the way.

"Freak," he could hear Sarah mutter. He sighed. He had no idea how the two of them actually managed to live together without killing each other.

David and Matt waited for everyone else to leave the hall before they pulled off their robes and began to clean up the giant mess that the returning students had made in the church. There was almost no small talk between the two of them, as they just worked as fast as they could before they got to go their separate ways.

He just wanted to get it over with, so that he could go back and see Jack.

* * *

Author's Notes-An update! I'm shocked. And we finally get through the chapter of evil exposition, even though B had me cut out about 85 of the exposition. But it was a necessary evil.

Some of the dialogue in David's nightmare comes straight from the song "Epiphany" in Bare.

Many thanks to B, Rina, Lute and Gothica for the betas.

And thanks to Emme3, Esha, Pidge, Twitch, Lute, Saturday, Braids, Sapphy, Gothica, B, Rina, and Alicia for the reviews.

Til Next Time!

TSB


	3. Chapter 2

By the time that David and Matt had finally finished cleaning up the chapel, it was already far later in the afternoon than David had hoped. David headed back towards the room that he shared with Jack, and found that Jack's things had at least been returned to the room, although there was no sign of Jack anywhere.

David rolled his eyes, and then headed towards the gym. There was a reason that Jack had been captain of the basketball team since sophomore year. He spent almost all of his free time practicing. David thought it was ridiculous, even if he did like seeing Jack all sweaty in his uniform after practice. Of course, he also liked seeing Jack sweaty in general.

The hallways were mostly empty, and David had to assume that most people had headed into town to hang out and get drunk before classes started again for the semester. Curfew was never enforced the first night back, and everyone knew it.

When he arrived at the gym, David could hear the sounds of a basketball bouncing off the rim of the hoop. He smirked. That would be Jack all right.

David headed into the gym, and took a seat on the bleachers on the other side of the gym from where Jack was playing. He took in the sight of a very sweaty Jack, clad only in shorts and a wife-beater.

He watched as Jack did a jump shot, and the ball bounced along the rim, before finally going through the hoop.

David stood up and applauded, and Jack whirled around. When he caught sight of David, his face lit up with a wide grin.

"Hey, Davey," Jack said, glancing at David appreciatively. "Miss me?"

"Fuck, yeah," David replied, taking in outline of Jack's abs through his sweat drenched white tank.

David hopped off the bleachers, and headed towards Jack, who glanced around, saw that they were alone and then briefly gave David a peck on the lips.

"Is that all that you can do after not seeing me for an _entire_ month?" David asked, mildly put out. He had been hoping for something more.

"We're in public, Davey," Jack pointed out. "I can't risk anyone actually seeing us together, you know that."

"Nobody is even on campus," David pointed out, pouting a little bit. "You could at least pretend like you're happy to see me."

"I _am_ happy to see you, Davey, you _know_ that," Jack's smile faded a little.

"Then you could show it a bit," David snapped more harshly than he'd meant to.

"What do you want me to do, pick you up and sweep you off your feet?"

"That might be an appropriate thing to do after you know… a _month_ away from each other?"

"Davey…" Jack sighed, and placed a hand on David's shoulder.

David sighed. "So where were you anyway? You didn't show up at Mass. Even _Mary Sue_ made it to mass."

Jack shrugged. "I fell asleep."

"Yeah, you and half the congregation."

"So we're going to hell, then?"

"According to the church, anyway."

As soon as the words came out of his mouth, David knew that he'd made a mistake. Jack was even more deeply in the closet than David was, and he was really touchy about such comments.

"Jack, I – "

"It's fine," Jack whispered, quickly pulling him in for another kiss.

"I know it's hard, but we've been together like this for almost two years now, and you know the same rules that we set down at the start. When we were first together."

Jack paused, and took in the disappointed look on David's face. "What do you say we get out of here and go to bed, since we're both _so_ tired."

David smirked and almost leaned in for a kiss, but then thought better of it and instead grabbed Jack's hand.

"I think I'd like that," he practically purred.

With a sharp tug, he pulled Jack towards the exit, and the two headed back to the room that they shared, Jack still trying to convince David that they should at least _try_ to remain inconspicuous.

Really though, David didn't understand why Jack was willing to let himself be pulled through the hallways where there was a fairly large chance that they could be discovered, but wasn't willing to kiss David in a room that was devoid of other human beings.

Their room was the corner double in the basement of the boys' dorms. The three doubles in the basement were all reserved for the senior boys, on the grounds that it allowed them more privacy. Matt and Diego had one, Sean and Tony had the second, and Jack and David shared the third. This worked out for them, because the acoustics in the basement were such that it made it very difficult for people to hear the creaking of the mattress or the moans that had emanated from their room almost nightly all of first semester. Since they were in the corner, it also meant that nobody would be passing by their room and could accidentally overhear them.

Nobody was hanging out in the hallway as the two made their way down the hall, and David opened the door of the room. Jack pushed him through the doorway, and then slammed David up against the door, one hang snaking behind him to lock it, and then captured David's mouth with his own. They stumbled toward the bed, completely lost in each other.

* * *

After they had finished their lovemaking, David lay curled up in Jack's arms, enjoying the feeling of contentment that had washed over him the same as it always did.

Jack leaned over to kiss him lightly. "I love you," he whispered. "I'll always love you."

David smiled. He so rarely heard those words from Jack that hearing them now, after they had just proved it to each other, made it all the more special.

"I love you, too," he answered.

"Good," Jack smirked, and then he pushed at David's shoulder. "Move over, you're hogging all the blankets."

"What about the mess?" David asked.

"You made it, you fucking clean it up."

"Ass," David snapped, but he meant it in a loving way, and he knew that Jack knew that as well. But still, David did as Jack had asked him, and quickly grabbed the tissues that he had conveniently placed next to his bed, wiped himself and the sheets off, and then spooned next to Jack.

They sat there, just holding each other for what seemed like an infinite amount of time before Jack stirred.

"Davey?" he asked, "are you okay with this?"

"With what, Jack?" David asked sleepily.

"With us."

"Would I have just done that if I wasn't?"

"I meant with it being a secret."

"Are you ready to come out?" David asked excitedly. Even with his nightmare during Mass, the greatest thing that he could imagine would be to stand in front of his mother and his friends and tell them that he was in love with Jack Kelly.

He wasn't sure if he could actually deal with the results of coming out to everyone, because after his nightmare he was even more nervous than normal about being rejected by them, but he still had to hold onto his dream of his mother accepting him and Jack. They were the two most important people in the entire world to him.

"Come out? David, we've had this argument. I _can't_ do that."

"Right. Your family wouldn't like it," David repeated glumly. "I remember."

"Davey…" Jack sighed, and placed a hand on his shoulder, but David jerked away.

Jack looked hurt. "I'm going to go take a shower. And then go get ready for basketball practice." Jack paused, and seemed to be waiting for some sort of response, but David wasn't sure what, if anything, he was supposed to say. "I'll see you later?"

"Yeah."

"I love you, David."

Somehow, the words seemed emptier now.

* * *

When David awoke the next morning Jack was already gone. David thought for a moment, and then remembered that all during January, Jack had early morning basketball practices and he must have been quiet trying not to wake David up.

_Well, he's considerate at least_.

After a quick shower, David headed towards the senior hallway and his locker, and found Jack standing by it already.

"You're late," Jack said, raising an eyebrow.

"Didn't have you around to wake me up."

"Well, you looked so comfy, I didn't think it was fair."

"Suddenly a romantic?" David observed.

Jack smirked. "Romantic? Moi?" He paused. "You know David, I can't seem to find my baseball bat. Could you check my pants for me?"

David rolled his eyes in disgust. "That is," he informed Jack, "without a doubt the worst pick up line I have ever heard in my entire life."

"I try," Jack smiled at him.

"Besides, aren't we out in _public_?"

"So I can't kiss you?" Jack asked sadly.

"I'll take that chance," David replied, incredibly glad that Jack seemed to be willing to take a greater risk today. He wasn't sure what it was that was making Jack act this way, but he assumed that it probably had to do with their argument the night before.

Just as their lips were about to touch, Ryan Ballat came down the hall, and Jack abruptly pulled back.

"Hey Jack," Ryan called. "You were great in practice this morning."

"Thanks, Ryan," Jack replied, ignoring David to go talk sports with his friend.

"Things never change," David muttered.

Jack seemed to have heard the comment and he responded in one of the most unexpected ways that David could have imagined: He said goodbye to Ryan and then grabbed David's arm, and pulled him into an empty classroom.

"I know it's not fun being like this, but I love you. And I want to be with you. I just don't want us to get hurt, and that's why it's best that we hide it. We'll always be together."

He kissed him quickly, and then the two stepped back out into the hallway, where they immediately ran into Sarah and her group.

"Jack!" one of the girls called. "Why haven't you called me?"

"Susan, you know that I'm busy…"

"Um, Jack?" another voice spoke up from the edge of Sarah's group. The girl stepped forward, and David recognized Kathryn, one of the girls who had tried for years to get involved in drama, with no luck. "Would you… would you come to prom with me?" She turned bright red, and hid behind one of the other girls.

"I haven't even thought about prom yet, Kristin," Jack told her.

She poked her head around and glanced back at him, looking like she was about to cry. "It's _Kathryn_," she told him. "And forget it."

Sarah laughed. "I'm sure Jack will make up his mind in good time," she smiled winningly, and winked at Jack. "And I trust him to make the right decision."

She flounced off, her long brown hair bouncing behind her, and the rest of the group followed. David rolled his eyes. He really couldn't believe how dumb high school girls were. And the fact that for some reason men found people like Sarah attractive when there were people like _Jack_ around confused him.

Jack turned to David apologetically. "It's all just a _game_, Davey," he reminded him. "I have to play the part of the popular guy, and part of that involves me flirting with girls. It's what people expect of me, you know that. We've been over this so many times before…"

David leaned towards Jack. "You do more than _flirt_ sometimes Jack. And you always seem to be pretending."

"It's them I'm pretending with. You and I… we're the real thing. I'm not interested in any of them, I only love you," Jack pointed out in a hushed tone. "And besides, whenever I'm around you, I can only think of one thing," he added, leading the way into the bathroom, and pulling David in close.

"You're lucky that you're hot, and it's really hard to argue with a hard on," David muttered, gesturing to his growing erection. "Think you could lend a hand here?"

Jack checked his watch and smirked, and David almost melted. "Can't, I'm late for class. And it is the first day, and I want to be valedictorian…"

He turned, and headed for the door, leaving a very disappointed David behind. "C'mon Davey, I'm not going to leave you. Not even for… Sean!" Jack ended as Sean Conlon entered the bathroom and lit a cigarette.

"Yo."

"Hey, looking good," Jack added, flashing him a grin, and then he nodded to David, gesturing for him to follow.

David followed him mutely, and the two walked down the now-empty hallways. Jack paused. "David, we're perfect like this, you _know_ that."

"If we're so perfect," David asked him, "why don't we tell my mother? Tell the world!"

Jack stared at him. "Are you on _crack_?"

"Forget it," David muttered. "We're just going to stay hidden like this then?"

"It's never bothered you before," Jack snapped.

"I'm sorry," David answered, actually feeling apologetic. He just wanted to spend time with Jack… if they couldn't be out together as a couple, then he at least wanted to be able to be with Jack as much of the time as possible. But with Jack's basketball season, and the show…

He thought about it for a second. Jack had used to enjoy acting, and maybe he would be interested.

"Look," he said slowly. "There's been something I've wanted to ask."

Jack opened his mouth, but David cut him off.

"Just hear me out," he pleaded. "After classes today, Sister Medda is holding auditions for Romeo and Juliet. I was thinking that maybe this year…"

Jack started laughing. "Do we have to go through this every year? Anyway, I might try out for the baseball team."

"You haven't played baseball since we were _twelve_," David protested. "And this won't be professional acting, this will just be for fun."

"I don't _act_, Davey."

"I think you're the best act this school has ever seen."

"In _bed_, yes."

David rolled his eyes. "You _know_ what I meant, Jack." He sighed. "You used to act… remember? You told me that you did when you were a kid, until your father decided it wasn't manly enough an activity for you. I thought you enjoyed it."

He stopped talking when he saw the hurt look on Jack's face. The fact that Jack and his father didn't get along was a sore spot for his boyfriend, and David had just rubbed it in.

"Just… forget I brought it up," David said helplessly, trying to improve the situation.

"Well, you did bring – "

"_Jack_," David said warningly, although he was smiling inside. If Jack was joking, that meant that he was okay. "I don't want to hear it."

"Davey, it's nothing. You know that we have to be careful. Things will be better tonight. Just like they were last night."

Jack reached in, and kissed him deeply, his tongue lightly caressing David's lips.

David leaned into the kiss, and then abruptly broke away. "Is that supposed to shut me up?"

"Yep," Jack said smugly.

"Jerk," David said lovingly.

They kept walking, and finally made it to Jack's class. "Later," Jack called as he entered the classroom, leaving David alone in the hallway.

"Together forever my _ass_," David muttered, heading to his own class.

He wandered without paying attention, and by the time he finally made it to his first period civics class he was almost fifteen minutes late.

"You're late, Mr. Jacobs," Father Denton said, raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry, sir," David replied, and dutifully took a seat in the only empty chair in the room, right next to Jack's sister, Mary Sue, who, as usual, was reading a book in flagrant disregard of Father Denton's authority.

David recognized most of the other seniors in the room, and he saw Matt and Tony hanging out in one corner. Well, Matt was paying attention, while Tony was trying to live up to his role as class clown.

"As I was saying before Mr. Jacobs interrupted us," Father Denton continued. "This class will be used to discuss how you are expected to act once you leave the safe environment that we have created for you at Pulitzer's Academy. We'll be discussing a variety of social issues, as well as how to survive in college."

David rolled his eyes. He had a fairly good idea what this class was going to be. It was going to be a repetition of all the values that the church seemed to hold dear. No sex before marriage, homosexuality is wrong, abortion is wrong, and all those other things. Truthfully, he didn't care to listen to it.

He turned to Mary Sue and tried to get her attention. She only responded by rolling her eyes and turning back to her book. David shrugged. At least this gave him some time to actually think about what had happened since he'd returned to Pulitzer's Academy for his final semester.

David wasn't sure what had brought on his abrupt reversal of beliefs. When he'd arrived back at school, he wasn't sure whether he actually wanted to come out or not. But after the nightmare that he'd had during mass, he felt that somehow it was essential to his happiness that he come out and proclaim his sexuality and his love for Jack to the world.

He wasn't sure exactly why this had happened. David had always followed the church's teachings, even when they conflicted with who he was. The decision to be with Jack had been one of the hardest ones that he'd ever made. He, like every other Catholic, knew that the church didn't approve of his sexual orientation, but somehow David couldn't believe that God would think that love was actually wrong. Being with Jack made everything seem like it was going to be just fine. He had prayed on it for months before he had finally told Jack how he felt, when he'd finally realized that his feelings for Jack weren't going to go away. David knew that he was one of God's children, and God made all of his children in his own image. That had to mean that in some way God respected David for his choices. Or at least David would have to continue to believe that God wouldn't make him to be wrong.

The problem was Jack. Jack didn't seem to want to come out, and even through his claims that the two of them would be together forever, David feared that this wouldn't be possible if they had this fundamental difference of opinion. Jack was like Matt in a lot of ways. They both liked to concentrate on pleasing everyone. Jack had his family's expectations to live up to; that he would marry well, and eventually provide lots of little Kellys to carry on the family line.

David knew that somehow Jack had internalized these feelings, and that Jack himself really did want the American dream; a little house with a white picket fence, and a garden, somewhere that was green.

Inwardly, David winced. He couldn't believe that he was quoting Little Shop of Horrors in his internal monologues. He'd more than come to terms with his sexuality, but quoting Broadway unconsciously? That was ridiculous, even for him.

Still, his Broadway obsessed mind had a point. Jack was Mr. All American. He was _expected_ to have the trophy wife, and the good job, and the basketball scholarship, and all of those other things that certainly didn't involve being gay. And Jack's insistence that in public they pretend to be just friends…. David wasn't sure if their love would last for forever, as much as he wanted it to. He couldn't picture a life without Jack. He didn't want to. Jack was everything to him.

He sighed, and turned his attention back to Father Denton. He really didn't want to think about it. A life without Jack… David wasn't sure if that was a life that was worth living or not.

"What we're going to be doing today is working on introducing ourselves to one partner in the class, and you'll be with them for the rest of the year. The purpose of this assignment will be to discuss moral issues, and to try to get to know at least one of your classmates on a more personal level. You'll have to have social abilities once you leave the safety of our academy, and this will be one last way in which we can prepare you."

David listened as Father Denton quickly split the class up, and rolled his eyes as he ended up being partnered with Mary Sue. Wonderful. All he needed to do was spend the next semester with Jack's sister.

He noted with amusement that Matt and Sarah had been partnered together. While Sarah looked horrified at the pairing, Matt was acting like his fondest wishes had come true. David was mildly amused by Matt's crush; it was ridiculously obvious, yet he seemed to think that he was being Mr. Cool. The fact that Sarah wasn't interested in him seemed to be obvious to everyone but Matt, which made David feel a bit bad for him.

But not too bad.

Although, if Sarah got together with Matt, maybe she would stop hitting on Jack, and that would certainly make David feel better.

"Hey David, are you _listening_?" Mary Sue hissed at him, having moved her desk next to his. "The Bowtie Man said we're supposed to be introducing ourselves. I don't know _why_, when we've known each other for seven years. Stop fawning over Sarah like everyone else in this damn school, and let's just complete the assignment, okay?"

"I wasn't fawning over Sarah, trust me on that," David told her. "She's not my type."

"Yeah, right," Mary Sue snorted. "Every boy in this school is after her, and she'd had her pick of most of them."

"Really?"

"I'm her fucking _roommate_," Mary Sue reminded him. "Do you have any idea how many times I've been sexiled over the last few years?"

"Oh." David really didn't have much of a response to that, outside of a faint blush coloring his cheeks. He'd never actually wanted to think about heterosexual sex. Honestly, he found the idea slightly disturbing.

Mary Sue smirked at him. "Wow, are you squeamish. If you're blushing at the thought… you'll never get any."

"Well, my sex life isn't supposed to be the topic of conversation here," David said quietly, trying to force his color to return to normal. He really didn't want to be talking about sex with his boyfriend's twin sister. He'd rather think about anything else. _Anything_.

David sighed, and tried to switch the subject. Mary Sue just made it so difficult. She was always so…. Well, _emo_, for lack of a better term. David really couldn't blame her. If he had a brother who was as wonderful as Jack was, and as crazy a family as they had… he'd probably listen to Dashboard Confessional also.

Well, that was a lie. He had better taste than that. If he ever did manage to come out of the closet, David was pretty sure he should replace Jai Rodriguez as the culture vulture on Queer Eye. Except that would mean that he couldn't stare at Jai every week. This could be a serious problem.

But instead of dreaming about Jai, like any sane gay man would do, he tried to engage Mary Sue in conversation, to no avail. She only responded to his questions with stupid one word non-committal answers, unless the topic was bashing her "whore of a roommate." Eventually David gave up and sat at his desk, facing forward and staring blindly at the clock. Which was ridiculously boring.

Every now and then he glanced over at Mary Sue, who had pulled out a notebook and was scribbling furiously in it. David briefly debated asking her what she was writing, but he figured that he would only be rebuffed again, so he just sat and stared at the clock, fighting boredom.

Luckily, the period ended before David could get too frustrated with his situation, and he was able to rush off to his next class.

* * *

Author's Notes – I live! It feels like it's been forever since I updated anything. But hey, I'm updating now, and maybe one day I'll get around to updating something else. Seriously. This chapter is for B, who needs a hug. And many thanks to Esha, for providing me with a video bootleg, and Shimmerwings for the beta.

Most importantly, as you may have noticed, there was a heavily implied smut scene in here. If you head over to the refuge – refuge dot queenitsy dot com, you can read the actual smut. Because we all like porn.

Some of the dialogue comes from "You and I" and "Role of a lifetime." Or is heavily influenced by it. ;)

Many thanks to Sapphy, Braids, Esha, Gothica, B, Mondie, and Lute for the reviews.

Til next time!

TSB


	4. Chapter 3

The rest of the day had passed rather quickly. David had managed to make it through the rest of his classes without incident, and he and Jack had snuck back to their room during lunchtime to have a brief make-up make-out session.

However, Jack had still been adamant that he would not be attending the auditions for Romeo and Juliet that afternoon, and as David looked around the auditorium, he saw that Jack had indeed decided to skip it.

David recognized most of the people who were present at the audition. Matt was there, most likely auditioning for Romeo. Sarah and Mary Sue were both present, looking like they were ready to kill each other. While this was a normal occurrence, David had to guess that this was more likely over the fact that during warm-ups both of them had expressed interest in being Juliet.

David just had to pray that neither of them would actually get the role, because neither of them was the best loser. The cast might be out of a Juliet before the show started, and the one who had been denied the part would most likely be facing criminal charges for murder. He wondered if "she stole my part" was an excuse for a justifiable homicide, but he doubted it.

Sister Medda was busy arguing with Elizabeth Harris, who was stage managing, as usual. The girl was the biggest tech geek in the entire school, and was extremely protective of anything that occurred backstage during any type of performance. Most people had the sense to stay out of her way during drama events, but Sister Medda still had the nerve to argue with her over the set up of microphones and lighting, even though the nun had admitted that Elizabeth probably knew more about those things than she did.

David sighed, and waited for the auditions to start. He wasn't sure who he wanted to audition for. It _was_ going to be his last show in his Pulitzer's Academy career, which should be reason enough for him to try out for the lead, but he knew that with Matt auditioning he had absolutely no chance of actually _getting_ the role of Romeo. And he wasn't sure that he would be able to play Tybalt; his acting skills didn't really stretch that far. Which really left Mercutio and Benvolio…

Either would probably be fun. But if he had his choice, he'd always liked the Queen Mab speech, and getting the chance to perform it would be the perfect way to end his high school acting career. With a grin, he made up his mind, and headed over to sign his name for the role of Mercutio.

Checking the list, he saw that the only other person to have signed up for that particular role was Tony Higgins, which might be an issue. There had been all of these horrible rumors floating around school about how Tony had actually managed to pass Medda's music class the year before, but David had to brush off the rumors. Tony's girlfriend, Margaret, who had transferred out at the end of last year was ridiculously over-protective of her boyfriend. If something had happened between Medda and Tony, they would both probably have ended up dead by Margaret's hand.

Even if the rumors about Tony and Medda weren't true, Tony was still one of Medda's favorite students, although only God knew why. And if he wanted the role, she would most likely give it to him, even if that was totally unfair. But there was always the chance that the nun would deicde that Tony was too short to play Mercutio…

David sat watching the spectacle of Elizabeth and Medda argue over flashlights. The argument seemed to last forever until Medda finally gave in, causing Elizabeth to get a smug grin plastered onto her face. Medda always gave in eventually.

Medda called everyone to order, and approximately thirty students gathered round to listen to her audition speech. Having been in a show every semester for the last three years, David had nearly memorized it by now, and if he'd wanted to he could have mouthed it along with her. He smirked as he saw that he wasn't the only one who had had that idea; Mary Sue and Tony were both reciting the speech word for word with her, although Tony occasionally paused to whisper sarcastic comments to the people around him, causing them to draw upon whatever acting skills they had to keep from breaking into hysterics.

"The theater," Medda was saying when David finally decided that it would be at least as interesting to listen to her repeat it again as it was to watch the reactions of the others, "is the way in which God chooses to communicate with us all. The greatest joys in this life are in how we choose to express the beauty of the words that have been written. Those who do not appreciate theater may as well be dead, for they are doomed in this life. And," Medda narrowed her eyes, "for those of you who don't take this seriously, you will go straight to hell. The Bard's work must be properly respected, and the chance for you all to be in such a prestigious show as this one is something that you will remember for the rest of your lives."

David rolled his eyes. That was a break from last year's speech. Still, even with this added conclusion, Medda was just as melodramatic as ever.

"Break into two groups – those of you who are auditioning for Romeo or Juliet, and those of you who are auditioning for anyone else."

Those who were auditioning for minor characters went first, and David had one of the best auditions that he had ever had. His rendition of the Queen Mab speech actually got a smile from Sister Medda. Maybe he actually had done well. Tony seemed to be frustrated with his own performance, and had been chastised by Sister Medda for how poorly he had done in comparison to his usual standards. David smirked. Mercutio was as good as his.

He settled back to watch the rest of the auditions. Matt definitely seemed to have Romeo in the bag, and Sarah and Mary Sue seemed to be evenly matched for the part of Juliet. They had both read the balcony scene against Matt about five times over the course of a half an hour, but both seemed equally matched against him.

However, Matt seemed to be putting more effort into his reading with Sarah, and that was probably going to give her an edge, although even David could tell that Mary Sue was pouring her heart into the declaration of love to Matt…. Or Romeo. Or whatever.

David rolled his eyes as Sister Medda stopped the auditions briefly to take the time to bitch out Kathryn for interrupting her after she'd already been cut from the running for Juliet. Sometimes he wondered why Sister Medda had become a nun, when it seemed like her main passion in life wasn't the service to God, unless that God was Stephen Sondheim. Which, when he thought about it, was something that David had actually heard Sister Medda say on a number of occasions.

Finally, the Sister called for a break from the auditions, and quickly conferred with Elizabeth who nodded.

"Good job, Romeo," Elizabeth muttered to Matt as she passed him, and he beamed with pride.

"All right everyone," she called. "That seems to be it for the day. I don't think I can stand to see any more of you manage to butcher the great works of The Bard, William Shakespeare. And this isn't a dance show like the one we did last semester, so those of you who think that you're going to get a part because you took tap dancing as a child have another thing coming." She paused. "Unless anyone else is going to audition, that should be it, and I'll make my decision."

"Wait, Sister," a familiar voice called, and Jack appeared in the doorway. "I'm sorry I'm late, I had to get out of basketball practice."

David's jaw dropped. Jack couldn't actually be here. He wouldn't actually be here. He'd said that he didn't want _anything_ to do with a school play.

But here he was, seemingly prepared to audition for a Shakespeare play.

Sister Medda was beaming. After all, she had just gotten what she wanted. Jack was here, just as she had demanded earlier.

"Jack, you go read the balcony scene with Sarah," Sister Medda proclaimed, and then silenced the whispers from the rest of the students with a simple glance.

David groaned inwardly. This was not what he wanted. Sarah, who had been after his boyfriend for an entire year, reading a _love scene_ with Jack.

Jack read the balcony scene with Sarah quite well, and David was horrified to note that there was some sort of sexual tension there. Not that Jack would ever do anything with a girl; he was just keeping up appearances. He had to be.

He glanced around to note the expressions on everyone else's faces. Most of them had some sort of expression of shock or awe. Mary Sue and Matt were both absolutely furious, although they were trying to avoid getting caught by Sister Medda for being disrespectful.

"Very good, Jack," Sister Medda said, nodding with approval. "What took you so long to audition for one of my shows?"

Jack grinned widely, "I was just waiting for you to do Shakespeare again, Sister."

Sister Medda beamed at him. "Sit down Sarah," she demanded, and then continued the scene with Jack.

Mary Sue took the opportunity to start a fight with Sarah, not that this necessarily required any provocation. Matt, on the other hand was still sulking at the proceedings.

Finally, Matt seemed to reach a breaking point, and just as Jack finished saying "My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself," Matt interrupted by finishing "Because it is an enemy to thee; Had I it written, I would tear the word."

Sister Medda, who was quite fond of Matt, nodded her approval, and kept reading the scene.

"Art thou not Romeo and a Montague?" Sister Medda asked, in as dramatic a tone as she could manage.

"Neither fair saint," the two boys called in unison, "if either displeases thee."

Jack took advantage of Matt stopping for Sister Medda to say Juliet's lines by simply plunging ahead into Romeo's next lines. "With love's light wings did I –" but that was as far as he got before Matt interrupted him with "For stony limits cannot hold love out, and what love-"

"Can do that dares love attempt; therefore –"

"Thy kinsmen are no let to me!" Matt finished.

If David hadn't been so nervous about Jack getting this part, he would have found the situation incredibly funny. Tony Higgins was cracking up from the sight of a pissing contest being fought with _Shakespeare_.

Finally, Sister Medda seemed to have had enough, and called the proceedings to a halt. Jack and Matt were separated, and Matt went to sit by Sarah, who edged away from him, although Matt didn't seem to notice.

"Hey," Jack said as he took a seat next to David.

"You came!" David smiled.

"Everyone be quiet, I'm going to go make my decision. _Try_ not to kill each other."

She stalked off, leaving everyone to talk amongst themselves.

David watched in amusement as Kathryn went to try to influence Sister Medda's decisions one last time, prompting Medda to shout at her, and Kathryn seemed to be on the verge of tears.

"So what made you change your mind?" David asked, as soon as Medda was out of sight.

Jack opened his mouth to reply, but stopped as Matt, Sarah and Mary Sue came over to join them.

"Well," he said finally, "You said that I should try, and I guess you were right."

"He was more than right," Mary Sue exclaimed. "You absolutely _nailed_ it."

"It was unforgettable," Sarah breathed, placing a hand on Jack's arm.

"Yeah," Matt said bitterly. "You're one talented guy."

The conversation grew very awkward at this point, and the uncomfortable silence was only lifted when Tony appeared.

"Hey, is everyone ready for this Friday?" he asked, trying to lighten the mood. "I'm still trying to settle the time and work everything out."

"Friday?" Jack asked curiously.

"There's a rave at the Wonderland."

"Cool," Jack said. "We'll be there."

"You're not going, are you?" Sarah said in disgust to Mary Sue.

"Why wouldn't I?"

Sarah only rolled her eyes and ignored her roommate.

Tony grinned. "The rave should be awesome. Much better than when we were freshmen and just made the seniors get us beer."

"Everything was more fun when we were freshmen," Mary Sue said, glaring at Sarah. "Everything was clearer then."

"Like your skin?" Sarah asked sarcastically.

"Hey come on, we're supposed to be good Catholics," Matt pointed out.

"That doesn't matter at the rave," Tony told him, rolling his eyes. "Out there, we can finally have some fucking fun."

"Does she have to come?" Mary Sue and Sarah asked with one breath.

"Come on you two, be nice," Jack chastised them gently, smiling at David and rolling his eyes.

The conversation was stopped before it could get too nasty by the appearance of Sister Medda.

"Everyone, gather around please!" The group got up from their seats in the corner and pushed their way to the center so that they were standing right in front of Sister Medda. She glanced around at them, and her tone got serious. "I've decided that it would be best if I told you the cast now, so as to cut down on the amount of drama when you _aren't_ in rehearsals. My decisions are final, and I'm serious. No drama except at rehearsals. Got that?"

Sister Medda waited for the round of nods that she'd expected. "Now, you all did quite well, and as usual, everyone is guaranteed to get a part in the chorus at the bare minimum. So, the principles."

Sister Medda paused to make her announcement even more dramatic. "The Nurse will be played by Mary Sue Kelly."

"Surprise, surprise," Mary Sue muttered, and then pushed her way out of the crowd, and into the hallway.

"I said no drama!" Sister Medda snapped at Mary Sue's retreating back. "She's going to need a nurse if she keeps that up… Anyway, the rest of the cast. Mercutio – David Jacobs. Benvolio – Tony Higgins. Tybalt – Matthew Lloyd. Romeo – Jack Kelly." Sister Medda broke briefly for the applause and congratulations that were being exchanged. "Juliet – Sarah Jones. Lady Capulet – Susan O'Conner. Lady Montague… Kathryn Robins, does your father have a video camera?"

"Yes Sister," Kathryn replied eagerly.

Sister Medda sighed. "Lady Montague, Kathryn Robins."

Kathryn let out a loud whoop, and then wrapped her arms around the nun. "Oh! Oh, thank you Sister, thank you so much" she exclaimed. "My family will be so happy!"

"Oh, get over it," Sister Medda said crossly. "I expect you all at rehearsals starting next week."

David whipped out his cell phone as he left the room and dialed his mother's cell, so excited that he totally ignored Jack in his attempt to go tell his mother the good news. He tapped his foot impatiently as the phone began to ring.

After two excruciatingly long rings, his mother's voice appeared on the line.

"Hello," she asked curiously. "David, wha –"

"Mom, we both got cast, we're in the show!" David exclaimed.

"You made this year's show?" Esther asked incredulously. "That's wonderful! Sister Medda said you were doing Romeo & Juliet this year! What part did you get?"

"Jack is playing Romeo, and I'm going to be Mercutio!"

Some of the enthusiasm seemed to have left his mother's voice as she answered slowly. "That's wonderful, sweetheart. Best friends playing best friends. How…. Poetic."

"I knew that you would want to know all about the good news!" David exclaimed, trying hard not to notice his mother's lack of enthusiasm.

"Well, Sweetheart, you know that I would love you no matter what, but I certainly love you more now!" Esther was injecting what was obviously fake enthusiasm into her voice, but David ignored it.

Jack walked up to him, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Congratulations," he whispered with a smile.

David smiled at his boyfriend's praise, and wished that he could share that with his mother. Inspiration struck him, and he spoke into the phone again. "Mom, Jack's here, say hi."

There was no response from his mother for a moment, and Jack stared at David in what seemed like an expression of utter horror, and turned away.

Just as Jack had turned his way, David's mother finally regained her voice. "Oh, hi, Jack."

"No, it's okay," David said, shaking his head slightly. "We have to go."

"All right, well, call me with the dates. I'll make sure the entire family comes, even your father."

"Sure thing. I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, Sweetie. Excelsior!"

David rolled his eyes at his mother's attempt to catch up with his interests, even if she was only behind by nearly a decade. Closing his phone, he caught Sarah's eye.

She grinned. "Come on, Mama's boy, let's go." Sarah turned to Jack, who was facing the wall, and purposefully avoiding David's eye. "Hey, Romeo, you coming?"

"In a minute," Jack replied, still avoiding David.

David shrugged, and followed Sarah off to the cafeteria. If Jack didn't want to talk to him just then, he wasn't sure that it was wise to push it. It was enough that Jack had come to the auditions.

* * *

Mary Sue approached her brother, who seemed to have lost all of his enthusiasm. It was strange, he had seemed so excited, up until David had called his mother. Mary Sue raised an eyebrow; she had suspected about David for years, but he couldn't possibly be…. With her _brother_! 

She shrugged, and decided not to think about it now. What Jack and David did, if they did anything, was their own business. Besides, she had an entire semester to investigate this, since she was stuck with Jack's dork of a _boyfriend_…. No, not boyfriend - roommate, in civics. Although, she had always suspected that David might not be as straight as he claimed, but then again, she did read a lot of slash.

Besides, she had an appearance to keep up. She couldn't start being nice to David just because he might have a thing for her brother. It totally went against her reputation as a bitch.

"Wow, Jack. Congratulations!" she said, her voice filled with false cheer. "The lead in the show. Mom and Dad will be _so_ proud of you."

Jack sighed, and smiled at her. Their shared bond of misery never failed to cheer him up. "Yeah, that's a conversation I'm really looking forward to."

"Conversation?" Mary Sue asked sarcastically. "With Dad? Is that even _possible_?" She feigned surprise, hoping that her sarcasm would cheer Jack up a little bit.

"Approach the bench, Ms. Kelly," Jack said, hopping up onto a chair. "Our father will hear your case now."

Mary Sue bowed low, and stood in front of him.

"Oh, the great Judge Kelly," Jack said with a laugh. "Too busy making important decisions for everyone else to even notice when his kids are in trouble."

Mary Sue grinned. "And Mom ignores our phone calls, since she's too busy being the Social Matron of all society."

"Could we have been raised by two warmer people?"

"Maybe Eskimos," Mary Sue said, rolling her eyes. She smiled wickedly, and changed the subject. "Guess what Dad's secretary left in my bag!"

"Do I want to know?"

"Our Christmas present."

Jack gasped in shock. "And to think, that was only a week ago."

"It's better than what they've done before."

"True. Last year was the combined Christmas-Birthday-Easter present."

"Well, our worst birthday was definitely the year that we turned fourteen."

"No, I think it was eight."

"Was that the zoo year?"

"Yeah, they rented out the zoo, and they both forgot about it, leaving Old Man Kloppman to take us around."

"They're _so_ ridiculous."

Jack rolled his eyes. "He promised to make it up to me, you remember? But then two days later I struck out at Little League –"

"And he made you walk home. I remember. And they call themselves good parents."

She rolled her eyes, and Jack grinned at her. He knew his twin well enough to know that this was bothering her more than she would ever actually tell him.

"So what did we get anyway?" he asked, hoping that it would cheer them both up a bit.

Mary Sue reached into her bag, which was covered with political and music buttons, and pulled out an envelope. "Apparently this got sent to Dad's office, instead of home. The only reason we even have it now is because Kloppman went looking for it."

"What is it?"

"Our Christmas check, and a letter from Notre Dame."

Mary Sue waved the envelope in front of him, and Jack grabbed it from her but stopped when he saw that it was open.

"Did you…"

"No, Dad." She paused. "Congrats Jack, you got in. I knew you would."

"What about you… have you?"

"BC hasn't called yet," she said with a shrug. "Maybe it'll show up eventually. Unless Dad loses it."

"Call Kloppman and ask him to keep an eye out."

"That's what cell phones are for," she reminded him. "Only way to get through to anyone in _our_ family."

Jack shot her a sympathetic look. "What did you get from them?"

"They bought me a pink dress. Clearly, they know me _ever_ so well," she said rolling her eyes. "Two sizes too small. Mom still thinks of me as her precious little Barbie doll."

"Mary Sue…"

"Don't, Jack," she said. "You're the special one, and I'm the screw up. We knew that already."

Jack gave her a squeeze, and the two of them went to go join the rest of the seniors.

David was waiting for Jack when Jack returned to their room later that night.

"Hey," David said quietly. "Look, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pressured you about coming out…."

"Forget it," Jack said, more harshly than he had intended to. "I just… I can't do that, David. You knew that already. My family… my life…"

"I know," David answered, hanging his head. "I just wish…. I just wish that people could accept us for who we are."

"But they wouldn't," Jack pointed out. "And we have a responsibility, to our families, and to our church to be what they expect us to be."

"Then why are we together like this?" David asked.

Jack paused. "Because us, like this, it's just so _right_."

David nodded, and pulled Jack onto the bed, kissing him gently. "You joined the show for me."

"It's our senior year," Jack said between kisses. "I want to spend as much time as possible with you."

Soon there was no more talking.

* * *

Author's Note-HA. I live! 

Why yes, that is an update. My fourth draft of this chapter, which is kind of weird considering I finished writing this entire thing over a year ago. Still. Expect updates more often, because I watched newsies last week and I'm obsessing.

Many thanks to Charlie Bird and Gothica for beta reading, and to everyone else who encouraged me to finish this stupid thing.

Thanks to signpost, Braids, citruspeach, Sapphy, B, Shimmerwings and PoisonIvory for their reviews.

Til next time!

TSB


	5. Chapter 4

The week passed without incident, although David was kind of worried about how Mary Sue was now starting to pry into his personal life. She seemed way too interested in the exact nature of his relationship with Jack, and David was trying his best to fend off her queries.

Honestly, he didn't want to discuss what sort of things he found attractive with his boyfriend's twin sister, especially when the aforementioned twin sister didn't even know that Jack was gay.

Still, things had been going fairly well with Jack ever since the auditions. The two of them did their best to pretend that they were just friends during their daily lives, but at night, Jack belonged to David, and David alone. And they both knew it, and took great pleasure from it. In more ways than one.

By the time Friday rolled around, Tony and Sean had been passing out fliers for the rave at the Wonderland, and most of the senior class intended to go. It was the only topic of conversation after school, and David was getting really excited for it.

He and Jack were sitting with a group of Matt's friends at lunch on Friday, when Matt brought up an entirely different subject all together.

"So," he began, looking kind of nervous. "Sarah's birthday is in a week."

Mary Sue rolled her eyes. "Big deal, the slut turns eighteen. It isn't like she's waited to actually have the birthday to do any of the things that legality will bring her."

Matt glared at her, and Mary Sue ignored him.

"So, I want to do something special for her," Matt continued stubbornly, trying to ignore the mocking that he was sure to be getting from Tony and Sean.

"How about a pair of faker boobs, or an STD she hasn't had?"

"Mary Sue," Matt chided. "That isn't very nice at all."

Mary Sue glared at him. "_You_ don't have to live with her. I see the real thing, not the fantasy that she tries to provide for everyone else."

"So what are you going to do?" David asked Matt, trying to change the subject.

"I'm not really sure," Matt said quietly. "I'd like to do something that will make her happy."

"Why don't you throw her a surprise party?" Susan suggested. "It could be fun!"

"Well, maybe something _small_," Matt said nervously.

"Oh come on," Susan laughed. "We'll help!"

"Well then…"

"Don't you trust your _friends_, Matt?" Mary Sue said, rolling her eyes.

"Trust about what?" Sarah asked, as she and Elizabeth sat down at the table.

Matt smiled at her nervously, but was saved from making a total fool out of himself when Mary Sue leaned over to Sarah and whispered something.

David didn't actually catch what it was that Mary Sue had said to Sarah, but knowing the sort of relationship the two girls had, it was sure to be really insulting. He was surprised to see that Sarah actually looked hurt by whatever Mary Sue was saying.

"So, about that rave," Sean cut in. "Everyone coming tonight?"

"Definitely," Tony smirked. "I've got the snacks, as usual." He pulled out two bags filled with what David knew from experience probably contained drugs.

"I've got the guys," Susan said, pulling Sean into a kiss.

"Whore," Tony snapped.

"Like you wouldn't be doing the same thing if your little ho hadn't transferred," Tonya muttered.

"Fuck you, Tonya."

"You wish."

Tony gave her the finger, and then reached into the bag.

"Oh, come on Higgins, save those for the rave."

"So everything's set, then?" Matt asked curiously.

"Not everything," Tony replied. "We need a ride." He turned to Matt, and waited expectantly.

"I don't have a car," Matt said in surprise. "Why are you looking at me?"

"But you _are_ Mr. Goody two shoes, and you have access to the school van."

"You want me to _steal_ the van?"

"Not steal, loser, just _borrow_ it for a night," Tony snapped. "We need to get there somehow."

Sarah pouted sweetly at Matt. "Please, Matty?"

Matt sighed. "So where is this place anyway?"

"The Wonderland?" Tony raised an eyebrow. "Dude, you're a fucking _senior_. Don't tell me that you've seriously never gone with us."

"That's not true," Matt protested. "I went last year. I just wasn't the one _driving_."

"There's a map on the flier," Tony informed him, reaching for a piece of paper from his pocket and passing it over to Matt. "That should answer all of your questions. Just be careful with it, and don't let Denton see it."

"I'm not a _snitch_," Matt pointed out as he took the flier. "Wonderland," he began to read. "An enchanted night of dreams, where never never finds you." Matt paused in disgust. "You're all insane."

"But Matt," Sarah pouted. "Don't you think it will be fun at least a little bit?"

"How far away is it?"

"We'll fill up on gas on the way," Tony said quickly, seemingly trying to press an advantage while Sarah was distracting Matt.

David rolled his eyes. _Feminine wiles? Straight men are so utterly predictable_.

"Oh, come on Matt, just _come_," Susan said, rolling her eyes. "You don't want to spoil the fun for the rest of us, do you?"

"I'll lend you some clothes," Jack up, squeezing David's hand under the table. David watched Jack's eyes fairly light up from excitement. The rave could be fun, they would be able to dance together without anyone thinking anything of it. This could be just what the two of them needed. David smiled.

"Why would I need to borrow any clothes?" Matt asked curiously, glancing down at his Armani shirt and pressed black slacks.

"Because you wouldn't fit into a club like that, Matt. Loosen up, have some fun. You're even worse than David is sometimes, not everything is about being perfect," Mary Sue pointed out, sidling a bit closer to him and placing a hand on his shoulder.

David exchanged a glance with Jack. Mary Sue being nice to a boy? With only minimal sarcasm? This could mean…. No, she couldn't actually have a crush on _Matt_. They were total opposites.

He shrugged. People could say the same thing about him and Jack. Although, he doubted that Mary Sue would be as lucky as he was. The only girl that Matt even seemed to notice was Sarah, and she seemed to be content to simply string him along as a lapdog, and use him for whatever suited her purpose. That wasn't fair to him, but Matt didn't seem to notice. Or if he did, he seemed ready enough to accept the role that Sarah had assigned to him.

Meanwhile, Matt was examining the map, and seemed to have found a problem.

"How on earth am I supposed to even cross this road?" he asked, pointing to a spot on the map. "There doesn't seem to be an intersection or anything."

David glanced over, and laughed. "I think the map is upside down, but it's kinda confusing…" he said doubtfully.

Matt turned the map over, and grinned. "Oh, right, that makes a lot more sense now. Thanks, David."

"Hey, Tony," Elizabeth asked suddenly, "what do you have for us anyway?"

Tony grinned. "Courtesy of me and my… compatriots, I have some great shit, but I thought that we'd decided to save them for the rave." He turned to Matt. "None for you, you're driving, and I'm not that stupid."

"The resident drug dealer is lecturing me on safety?" Matt asked incredulously.

"Hey, I don't want to get _caught_."

"So, we've got X then?" Elizabeth asked, draping herself over Tony, and searching through his pockets.

"Of course. You can't go wrong with X at a fucking _rave_, but I brought something a bit extra this time…" Tony went searching through his pockets, and produced a packet containing a white powder, and a vial containing some sort of blue liquid.

"That had better not be cocaine, Higgins," Sean snapped.

"It's not!" Tony protested. "The powder is called K. It's really good for enhancing the experience. Just be careful with it, it's really fucking easy to overdose, but in my not so humble opinion, it's more than worth the risk."

"You've sampled it then?" Jack asked.

"You think I'd sell bad shit?" Tony looked indignant. "I only provide the best, and I sample what I buy."

"So what's the other one?" Kathryn asked shyly.

"This one is G," Tony answered.

"Why thank you, Professor," Sarah said, rolling her eyes. "A letter is ever so helpful."

"It's sweet shit," Tony said matter-of-factly. "If you take it on top of X, you'll get a fucking nice high. But no more than two caps of G at a time."

"Jesus, why the hell do you sell the stuff if you warn us about the limits?"

Tony glared. "Because you'll fucking buy it anyway, and at least I can point out the limits. An informed consumer equals more customers for me."

"Uh huh." Mary Sue looked skeptical, but a glance from Sean silenced her. David wanted to know also, but he knew better than to push the matter. He could only assume that Tony knew someone who had overdosed, but he hoped that something that bad hadn't happened - or if it had, that it would have at least convinced Tony to kick his own habits. Not that David had the most faith in Tony's common sense…

"So, Matt," Tony said, turning his attention back to the one that they were all counting on to drive them. "Are you in or what?"

"What time?"

"We'd be leaving by nine at the latest."

"I really just don't know, I'm supposed to be helping out Father Denton…"

The entire group erupted into groans.

"Don't be such a goody goody all the time," Sean said crossly. "Fucking live a little."

"Even I want to go," David pointed out. "We're _seniors_ now. Why shouldn't we have some fun?"

Matt shook his head, and for a moment David was afraid that he was going to totally refuse, when Sarah got up from her seat and plopped herself down on Matt's lap.

"Please?" she said sweetly, batting her eyelashes. "I'd really appreciate it, Matt." She trailed a finger down his jaw line, and then lightly traced it over his lips. "So?" she purred.

"All right, I'll go."

The senior table erupted into cheers, and then as two of the cafeteria monitors came to see what all the noise was, they scattered, going to go make their final preparations for the night's rave.

* * *

When David and Jack arrived back at their room, they immediately began to scour through their closets for something that would be appropriate to wear. David sighed in frustration. He was an utter failure as a gay man. All of his clothing just wasn't appropriate for a rave.

He glanced over at Jack, and saw one of the shirts that Jack had discarded that would be absolutely perfect. It was blue, just like his eyes.

"Hey Jack?" he asked quietly.

Jack turned around, and smiled at him. "Yeah, Davey?"

"Can I borrow that shirt?"

"Of course," Jack replied instantly, and then he paused briefly. "Although, if you keep looking at me like that, I don't think you'll be wearing it for that long."

"Promise?" David asked hopefully.

Jack smirked. "If you're lucky."

David headed over to Jack, and pulled him into a long deep kiss. They tumbled onto Jack's bed, a mass of limbs and tongues and wandering hands.

David wasn't sure when it actually got to be 8:30, but he did eventually notice the clock and groaned. He reached for his shirt, which had been discarded some time previously, then remembered he was going to be borrowing Jack's shirt, and pulled it on instead.

Checking the mirror to make sure that he was actually presentable, he glanced over at Jack who was lying on the bed panting. "Come on, we're going to be late."

Jack grinned at him, and tugged on his own clothing. Giving David's hand a quick squeeze, the two exited their room to go meet the rest of the senior's by the school van.

* * *

Mary Sue sat in her room, checking to try to decide what she wanted to do for the night. The rave sounded exciting, and Mary Sue knew that she would enjoy the music, and the dancing, but still, she didn't feel entirely comfortable about going. She just wished she knew why.

Well, who was she kidding? Mary Sue knew exactly why she was uncomfortable going to the rave with the rest of the seniors. Matt.

Well, specifically Matt and Sarah.

It was bad enough that she'd ended up with this ridiculously strong crush on Mr. Perfect, who was certainly _not_ her type, but he'd have to end up with a crush on her fucking _whore_ of a roommate.

Sarah hadn't always been _this _bad, Mary Sue remembered. Back when they'd started at Pulitzer's Academy, Sarah had been so _nice_, and the two of them had been friends. But now… Mary Sue wished she knew when the change had occurred, and she'd lost her best friend to this cold-faced bitch who seemed to care about nothing but scoring with as many boys as possible.

Mary Sue had lost count of nights she'd spent on the lounge couch, because Sarah had been entertaining someone or other.

Still… she reached for the photo that she kept in her desk drawer. It was of her, Sarah, Jack and David, from the day that they had finished the seventh grade. The four of them had been so close once. But those days had been so long ago, that she could barely remember what it was like to be able to trust Sarah with her secrets.

She certainly wouldn't be able to tell Sarah how she felt about Matt. Sarah couldn't be trusted, she'd proved that over the years. Anything that Sarah could do to make herself more popular, more attractive, she had done. Even telling secrets that she had been trusted with. And Mary Sue had been left behind, just watching. Always tagging along. Always alone.

Getting up off her bed, Mary Sue headed to her closet and began to go through her clothes, trying to find something that would be considered even partially appropriate for that night's outing. She sighed, and after a moment just gave up and pulled out an outfit of hers that was far too goth for her liking, but was going to have to do. A short black skirt, a black tank top, and fishnets.

All black – like her soul.

Mary Sue snorted. God, she sounded like some fourteen year old kid who tried to get attention by writing dark poetry and postering it all over her locker in the hope that someone would notice and pay attention to her. Such people annoyed Mary Sue.

Still, there was something missing from the outfit. Mary Sue continued to rummage through the closet, and pulled out a scarf, which she didn't recognize. She held it up, and examined it.

Sarah walked into the room, wearing a midriff bearing shirt, showing off a flat toned stomach and a newly pierced belly button.

Mary Sue opened her mouth to ask about the scarf, but before she had the chance, Sarah had snatched it out of her hand.

"You _stole_ my scarf?" she exclaimed. "What did I tell you about keeping your ugly paws out of my closet?"

"It was in my closet," Mary Sue started to protest, but Sarah cut her off.

"No wonder I've been noticing that some of my clothing is missing."

Mary Sue glanced at Sarah's short skirt, knee length boots, and tight tee.

"Yeah, I think we've _all_ noticed that. Although, I'm shocked, I hadn't seen your belly button in nearly a _day._"

"Bitch."

"Whore."

"Emo."

"Skank."

A knock at the door interrupted their insult-fest, and Matt poked his head in.

"Evening, ladies," Matt said, as he poked his head into the room. "I've come to escort you to the car."

"I'm not going," Mary Sue said automatically.

She almost smiled when she saw that Matt looked a bit disappointed. She almost let herself hope that he would protest and encourage her to come with them, or say something along the lines that he would miss her company. But instead, he just shrugged and offered Sarah his arm, which she took, and smirked at Mary Sue.

"See you later," Sarah shot back at her. "Just… don't touch anything."

Mary Sue looked at her in disgust.

Matt stopped, and turned around to look at her, sensing that something was wrong. "Are you sure," he began, "that you don't want to come?"

Mary Sue thought about it. She wanted to go and spend time with Matt, but not while he was off sucking up to Sarah. There was no way that she would be able to handle it.

"I'm sure," she snapped, more harshly than she intended to. "Just fucking go already."

"Have a good night," Matt said with a smile, and led Sarah out of the room.

Mary Sue watched their retreating backs, and waited until the door had closed behind them before she threw herself down on the bed, and let the tears flow freely. Nothing was ever going to change. She was always going to be that girl that everyone just tolerated. There wasn't going to be any big romance for her. Mary Sue had long ago realized that she wasn't ever going to be the girl who got the guy. She was the side kick at best. At worst, she was the background character that maybe got a passing mention.

That wasn't a role that anyone should have to play, but it seemed that it was Mary Sue's lot in life. Everyone else went out to a club; she stayed at home and cried.

Mary Sue sat up on the bed, and reached for the package of tissues that she kept on her nightstand. Drying her eyes, she opened the other note that had been enclosed in the package from her parents.

_Dear Mary Sue, _

_Enclosed is your check. Why don't you use it to buy a more appealing wardrobe? You'll never attract a good boy if you cover yourself up like that. But before you do, you could stand to lose a few pounds. Maybe your roommate can help you._

_Love,_

_Mom_

Mary Sue held up the letter, read it over one last time, and tore it into as many pieces as she possibly could. She smiled in smug satisfaction as the horrible words were shredded.

Briefly, she wondered why she hadn't shown the letter to Jack, but the answer came to her quickly. Her brother was stressed enough as it was, and there was no point in her dumping her problems on him. She was there to help him with his problems, that was her assigned role in the family. She knew that – she'd _always_ known that.

But there was nothing that she could really do about it. Crossing the room, she turned off the lights and collapsed onto her bed, waiting for sleep to take her so that the day would fucking end already.

* * *

Author's note – Um. Has it really been a year? Apparently….

Well. Hi. Sorry? I got inspired by watching the Kevin Stea newsies videos of awesomeness… so update? Considering that the whole fic has been finished since Nano '04…

Til next time!

TSB


	6. Chapter 5

As the Pulitzer's van pulled into the parking lot of the Wonderland, David was trying to figure out why he'd wanted to go to this rave in the first place. Tony and Sean had broken out the drugs almost as soon as they had gotten into the van, and Sarah had spent the entire ride sitting on Jack's lap, claiming that there wasn't enough space anywhere else, even though David had pointed out that there was an empty seat in the back next to Kathryn.

Jack had been ignoring him all night.

Considering that they were in public, it didn't really surprise him. Doing anything in public would violate the rules that Jack had set down for them at the beginning of their relationship after all. But even though they couldn't spend the entire ride making out, like Sean and Susan were, didn't mean that they couldn't sit next to each other. And it certainly didn't mean that Jack should be flirting with Sarah.

He really had no right to be jealous - he knew that Jack wasn't _really_ interested in Sarah. He was just pretending, just acting. But it wasn't fair to Sarah, it wasn't fair to Jack, and most of all (in David's opinion) it wasn't fair to him. He shouldn't be forced to sit there and watch as his boyfriend sat and flirted with a _girl_.

Finally, Sarah disentangled herself from Jack long enough for everyone to get out of the van and head into the rave. David watched in amusement as Sarah attempted to latch onto Jack, who pulled away, and instead smiled brightly at David.

Jack hung behind as everyone else went for the club, and put his hand on the small of David's back.

"You ready?" he asked with a grin.

"Fuck, yeah," David replied, leaning towards Jack, who pulled away.

"Not here, Davey," he reminded him sharply. "People could see us."

David sighed, and mutely followed Jack inside the club.

David's eyes took a moment to adjust to the darkness. The music was pounding, and the only lights were from the glow sticks that the people were dancing with.

David stopped to watch the dancing. He had no sense of rhythm, he had come to accept that after many years of embarrassing himself. He had tried very hard to forget the incident in eighth grade play where he had been given a solo – people had taken to referring to his dance routine as the monkey jump for years. It wasn't something that he was particularly proud of.

Luckily, Jack had later told him that he'd found it sexy, and David was almost able to believe him.

Because, really, it had been way more ridiculous than sexy.

It was so loud and so dark that Jack was able to pull him into a corner, and the two were grinding up against each other. Nobody noticed that the two of them were together, most of the friends were clustered around Tony and Sean, who were distributing even more drugs.

"You're amazing," David hissed.

"What?" Jack yelled, struggling to make himself heard over the roar of the crowd, and the beat of the music.

"You're amazing!" David repeated, a bit louder this time.

Jack paused. "Why?"

"I don't know," David replied. He felt giddy, even though he hadn't had any of the drugs that Tony and Sean had been passing out freely. If he didn't know better, he would have sworn that he was drunk. But he hadn't had anything to drink.

"You just are," he continued, moving even close to Jack so he could be heard over the music. "This whole _thing_ is," he added, gesturing around to the rave. "We're here, and we're dancing, and we're _together_, and nobody really cares! This is everything that I wanted. To be with _you_."

"Are you _high_?" Jack asked, looking at David with a critical eye.

"You know I didn't take anything, I don't need it when I'm with you."

David leaned in, trying to get a kiss out of Jack, who pulled away suddenly.

"David, you can't." Jack brought up his hands, keeping David from getting any closer.

"But why not?" David protested. "Nobody is watching us, and even if they were, nobody would care. They're all high!"

"You know why we can't do this David. Stop pushing for it."

"But –"

Jack cut off David's protests by heading for the exit. "I need some air!" he called over his shoulder.

David lowered his head and mutely followed him, feeling like he was being chastised for something that wasn't his fault at all.

* * *

Matt headed over to a corner to try to find a place to sit down. He couldn't bring himself to do any of the drugs that everyone else seemed to be enjoying, and he had been summarily ditched by Sarah almost as soon as they had arrived at the rave.

So he was confined to the corner, all by himself. Jack and David had abandoned everyone else as soon as they'd arrived. Matt hadn't even bothered to think about it, since he knew that the two of them were incredibly close, which is one of the reasons that they had roomed together for so many years, but that was not reason to ditch all of their friends like that.

Matt sighed. He really hated raves.

Everyone was too busy getting high, and dancing, and he was stuck all by himself, always the outcast, always watching the crowd.

Matt tried to smile and get into it, but it just wasn't his scene. But he needed to be sure that he was able to get along with everyone, so he just faked it. He'd much rather have been back in his dorm reading a book, but he had to play the part of a good schoolboy. Not just as a straight A student with a lot of volunteer work behind him, but also being a leader, and popular.

Matt couldn't stand the amount of pressure that he was almost constantly under.

Even if that was the reason he had come to the rave that night.

Sarah Jones…

Honestly, the girl was so absolutely incredible. She was beautiful, and smart, and talented… one of the best girls in their entire class.

And she seemed to be interested in him, or at least she did sometimes. Other times, it was as if he didn't exist at all. Usually about the times when Jack was in the room.

_Jack_.

Jack Kelly was undoubtedly Matt's least favorite person in the entire school. He was everything that Matt wanted to be, except that Jack didn't even have to try. Jack had the grades, the athletic ability, and he had Sarah Jones interested in him.

Jack had all of this without trying, while Matt had to work for it.

It just wasn't _fair_.

Matt turned back to watch Sarah. She was smiling, laughing, and seemingly having a good time. She was dancing, pressed up against Sean, grinding against him, and enjoying herself. She looked _incredible_.

Suddenly she stopped, and pushed Sean away, and went over to Tony, and tapped him on the shoulder, and muttered something into his ear.

Tony nodded, and handed her a vial, and she took a long swig of the drugs. Matt groaned. She was so perfect, why did she have to…

_Shit_.

Sarah had gone suddenly pale, and was leaning up against the wall, looking awful. Matt got out of the corner, and ran over to her in concern.

"Is she okay?" he demanded, noting her heavy breathing and suddenly clammy skin.

"She should be all right," Tony said, some concern showing in his voice. "She's just fallen out a bit. I'll take her outside and get her some fresh air."

"No, I'll do it," Matt snapped, and headed over to Sarah.

"Come on, Sarah, let's get you outside."

She just nodded, and then her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she fainted. Matt gathered her up in his arms, and headed for the closest exit, wondering if he should call 911.

"She'll be _fine_," Tony repeated as he followed Matt toward the exit. "This isn't a major overdose; I'd tell you if it was."

"Fuck you, Higgins," Matt retorted. "Like you even care."

"I fucking care!" Tony looked insulted by the implication. "Jesus, I warned everyone what could happen, she just took too big a swig. I wouldn't let her take more than I thought she could handle."

"If you know what could happen, then why the fuck do you still do this shit?"

Tony didn't answer, he just glared. After a moment, he did speak up. "Why the fuck are you still in here, anyway? You should be taking Sarah outside."

Matt glared at him, but he did as he was told.

* * *

"I don't understand," David said as he caught up to Jack. "You were fine with us just a few hours ago."

"Davey," Jack sighed. "This is getting ridiculous. Every single time I think that you remember what the rules are that we set down for our relationship, you try to push at me."

"But Jack, I love you, and I want people to know that."

"I know you do, Davey, and I love you too. And maybe one day, we'll be able to tell everyone. But we can't, not right now."

"Jack, I don't care about that. I just want to know that you love me."

"But I _do_, Davey."

"I want it where everyone else can see us. Why should we have to keep this a secret? You're my soulmate, Jack. We'll be fine if we're together."

"You're as bad as Mary Sue, with all that soulmate nonsense," Jack said with a sigh. "We can't go public with this."

"But look around us, Jack!" David exclaimed in frustration. "There were so many people there, some of them had to have seen us dancing together. And nobody _cared_. Just give people a chance..."

"A chance?" Jack exclaimed. "A chance for us to end up like one of the kids that you see on the news?"

"Do you really think that little of everyone?"

"This is real life, Davey, people hate what they don't understand. And they've never understood people like us. Try to think what it is that coming out would mean."

"I have thought it through, you're the one who won't give it a chance. You're just… you're a _coward_, Jack. You're actually scared of coming out and saying who it is you really love. You'd rather pretend that you're like everyone else, when you aren't."

"You're calling _me_ a coward?" Jack asked incredulously. "You, who won't do anything that goes against your mother tells you to do?"

"Some things are worth fighting for," David said softly. "I'd tell her now. She'd still love me."

Jack didn't answer, he just glared at him.

"You know that we can't go on forever this way," David said, struggling to break the silence.

Jack snorted. "All this talk of forever," he said finally. "Why can't we just think about today?"

"We'll have to grow up eventually, and face what's coming."

"But that isn't now. This, us, is now." Jack glanced around, and put a hand on David's shoulder. "I love you, Davey," he repeated, more firmly this time. "Isn't that enough for us?"

David answered him with a kiss, and for a moment the world and their problems seemed to fade away, and everything seemed like it was going to be all right.

* * *

Matt stood in the shadows, holding an unconscious Sarah in his arms. He shifted positions slightly, trying to make Sarah more comfortable as he tried to comprehend what he had just seen.

Jack Kelly. And David Jacobs.

_Kissing_.

That wasn't possible. They were both… they had always seemed to be ridiculously close. But they… Jack was ahead of him to be valedictorian!

He was Mr. Perfect Student. All the girls wanted him, and all the guys wanted to be him. But… Matt had just heard Jack confess his love for a _boy_. Somehow, those two things didn't seem to even out.

Matt had always listened to the teachings of the church, and the church had always taught him that homosexuality was wrong, and that people who chose to practice it were some sort of perverts. It was _wrong_. Father Denton had always said so. And he'd been Matt's advisor, his confidant, for years. He had never been wrong before. He'd always helped Matt do what was right.

But Jack and David… even though Matt had walked in on some sort of argument, he could see the tenderness that was behind the fighting words. He'd seen a relationship like that before, in his parents. Even though they fought over things, there was always love behind their words. And somehow, Matt could almost see it in Jack and David.

Still though, it was different. They were both boys. It was wrong.

But… the church also said that love was right. And if Jack and David were in love, how could it be wrong?

Matt carried Sarah out to the car, trying desperately to decide if what he'd seen was wrong or not. Things had seemed so simple when it was just abstract concepts that the church had been teaching him. But now, it wasn't just some abstract thing with no bearing on his everyday life. Now it was his friends, and for the first time in a very long time, Matt felt utterly lost.

* * *

Mary Sue awoke to a knock at her door. She yawned, and rubbing her eyes, checked the time.

4:23.

It wasn't even four thirty in the morning, and someone was trying to wake her up? Seriously, she'd only gone to bed about an hour before, having utterly given up on writing the next chapter of her fantasy novel. The words had just stopped flowing, and Mary Sue was pretty sure it was because of the sheer exhaustion and stress that she was feeling. And she had the entire next scene plotted out in her head, too, she just couldn't make the words flow on paper the way that she wanted them to.

Still, thoughts of her novel could wait, what she needed to do now was figure out who was making that racket at such an ungodly hour of the morning.

Mary Sue got out of bed, pushing her comforter onto the floor. She almost headed straight to the door, but then she glanced down at the tank top and shorts that she was wearing. She wasn't _Sarah_, she didn't have the body to go around like that, although Mary Sue cursed softly at herself for even caring. Flicking on the light, she grabbed for her bathrobe and pulled it around herself tightly.

The knocking was growing louder, more insistent.

Mary Sue sighed. "Hold on, I'm _coming_," she said crossly. She crossed the room, and unlocked the door, expecting it to be her roommate and whatever boy she'd picked up at the club that night. But if Sarah even thought she was going to be sexiling Mary Sue at this hour, she was out of her fucking mind.

"What the _hell_ do you…" she cut off mid sentence, as she saw Matt carrying her unconscious roommate.

"Fuck, what did she do to herself?" Mary Sue asked, moving over so that Matt could set Sarah down on her bed.

"She took a bit too much," Matt answered. "She's been breathing fine, and she woke up a few times. Tony said that she should be fine, and taking her to a hospital would only get her into trouble. Still… I'm thinking about driving her anyway."

"I'm sure she's fine," Mary Sue responded, forcibly biting down a sarcastic comment about Sarah being too evil to die. "I'll stay up and watch her for a while."

Mary Sue's eyes widened in shock even as the words left her mouth. She didn't understand why the words had seemed to flow so easily. Sure, she wanted to impress Matt, she had come to terms with her crush on him by now. But she and Sarah _hated_ each other, it was a basic tenet of their existence. And honestly, Mary Sue knew that she really didn't care whether Sarah lived or died, as long as Sarah kept her claws out of Jack, and stayed out of her way.

But another part of her still remembered what it had been like to be friends with Sarah. It hadn't really been that long ago.

Shaking her head, Mary Sue looked up at Matt, who was fairly beaming at her.

"You really don't have to do that, Mary Sue," he replied. "Tony's probably right, and I'm just overreacting."

"Still, better safe than sorry, right?" Mary Sue said with false cheerfulness, even though she was mentally kicking herself as the words left her mouth.

"Do you want some company?" Matt asked. "If you're going to stay up until she wakes up, you shouldn't have to do it on your own."

"You don't have to," Mary Sue said, trying not to appear too eager. After all, Matt was concerned about Sarah's well-being, not her own. He loved Sarah, same as every other guy in school did.

"Well, I'll stay for a little while, if you don't mind."

"Suit yourself," Mary Sue replied, with what she hoped was nonchalance.

Matt settled down in a chair, and Mary Sue turned on her laptop, and plopped down on her bed, and pulled the covers back over herself. As soon as the computer fully booted up windows, she opened up word and stared at the part of her novel that she had left off on. The handsome knight was just about to rescue the sleeping princess, but she just had to get him through this last passageway so that he could rescue her.

"What are you doing?" Matt interrupted.

"What does it look like?" she asked.

"I don't know, you're staring at your computer."

"Just screwing around," she answered. Her writing was personal; nobody really knew about it… nobody from real life anyway. That was one of the perks of internet friends, they were all anonymous, and you could tell them anything, and they wouldn't judge you on what you looked like, but on how well you presented yourself in your writing. It was a much better system in Mary Sue's opinion, since it got rid of all the trivialities that dominated high school.

"Oh," Matt replied, watching her intently. "So, um… how's your brother doing?"

"Worried that Jack's going to beat you out for valedictorian?" Mary Sue smirked, unable to keep up her false façade of cheerfulness any longer. Sarcasm was so ingrained in her personality that she was unable to keep up any semblance of sweetness for that long. The biting remarks that she thought of almost automatically just fought their way out of her system whether she wanted them to or not.

"I'm already fairly sure that he's going to beat me," Matt answered back sharply. "That wasn't what I was asking about. I was asking how he's doing."

"He just got accepted into Notre Dame," Mary Sue answered. "Why do you care?"

"I was just… kinda worried about him, I guess. Forget I said anything."

Mary Sue looked at Matt curiously. He seemed to be actually concerned. _Jack probably fucked himself up at the club or something_, she assumed. _Whatever, David will take care of him_. _Unless_…

Mary Sue had had her suspicions about David for quite a while. And Matt… he had the look of someone who was trying to reconcile his entire belief system with reality. It was something that Mary Sue had fought with her entire life, especially when she'd realized that she truly didn't believe in God. She went to this stupid school because her parents wanted her to, and she participated in Mass, and went to confession, and did everything else that a good little Catholic girl was supposed to do, but she'd actually stopped believing in it all such a long time ago. If there was a God, there was no way that he would allow her to be so utterly miserable, and be confined to this pitiful of an existence.

"He's fine, as far as I know. We don't really talk about personal stuff," she answered, hoping that her expression wasn't giving anything away.

_Jack, how could you be so stupid?_

Mary Sue turned back to her writing, although she was now fighting off the urge to just kill off the stupid knight. The damsel could rescue herself. She didn't need a man to save her.

She barely even noticed when Matt left the room, closing the door softly behind him. And it was a good thing that she hadn't, because the sight of Matt kissing Sarah's forehead probably would have enraged her beyond belief.

* * *

A/N – Many thanks to B for the beta. Any remaining mistakes are my own fault.

This chapter dedicated to Hilby, for existing. loves


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